A decade of making a difference with long term fostering in Lincolnshire
Judy (61) and Nigel (62) – Foster carers with Nexus Fostering, Lincolnshire. Ten years ago, Judy and Nigel decided to open their hearts and home to fostering, and they haven’t looked back since. Already parents to adopted children, the couple had long felt that their journey in caring for young people wasn’t over. “We adopted one of our own children,” Judy explains, “and seeing the changes and life chances that gave them really made us want to do more.”
Judy had grown up surrounded by adoption and fostering, with both family and close friends involved, so the idea of caring for children in this way had always been part of her outlook. Once their older children started to move out, the time felt right. With her background working with children in both professional and voluntary roles and Nigel’s long career working with people they had plenty of transferable skills and compassion to offer.
A decade of learning and growing
Reflecting on their ten years of fostering, they describe it as a journey filled with both challenges and rewards.
“Fostering has highs and lows, like any parent-child relationship,” Nigel shares. “But you're also navigating social care, the law, birth families, education... there are a lot of moving parts, and sometimes people have very strong opinions.”
They’ve learned to adapt and evolve along the way, supported by Nexus Fostering’s training and resources. “When we adopted, there wasn’t much support,” Judy says. “We just muddled through. But fostering with Nexus is different, you learn so much, and the support is always there. Things like therapeutic parenting, understanding additional needs, and learning to just get up and carry on… those things have made all the difference.”
A long-term home, a lasting bond
Over the years, Judy and Nigel have had just two placements. Their journey started with respite care for two young boys from different birth families. One eventually returned to their family, but the other, who they’d especially connected with, returned again for respite… and never left.
“He was very unsettled at first,” Nigel recalls. “He’d moved around a lot. But we always wanted to foster long-term, and that secure base made a real difference. Now 16 years old, over time, he became more and more settled and now he’s absolutely part of our family. He even gets on really well with our older kids and stays with them from time to time.”
Challenges faced, support received
The couple acknowledge that fostering isn’t always easy. “There have definitely been challenges,” they say. “But Nexus has always been supportive. A quick text or phone call can sort out the small things, and there’s 24/7 support for the big stuff.”
They’ve especially valued the high-quality training and tailored approach to each child. “We were with another agency before but moved to Nexus because of their reputation, and their consistent ‘Outstanding’ Ofsted rating. It’s well earned.”
If Judy and Nigel’s journey has inspired you then contact Nexus Fostering.
Moments that make it all worthwhile
For Judy and Nigel, one standout moment that reminds them why they foster came unexpectedly. “We’d just dropped him off with friends when we got a text asking if we could pretend he needed to come home, he wasn’t comfortable with what his mates were doing. When we picked him up, we talked it through, and by the time we were home, he’d already arranged to meet someone else instead.”
“That’s the kind of moment that shows you’re making an impact,” Judy says, smiling.
Their advice for new foster carers
Their message for anyone thinking about fostering? Be ready to give your all.
“People always say, ‘I’m not sure I could give them back.’ But it’s that kind of love that children in care need, unconditional love. It’s not about what you get out of it, it’s what you put in. Be resilient, because there will be knocks. But foster with an agency that supports you and do your research.”
Looking ahead
Now approaching retirement, Judy and Nigel are still as committed as ever. “The growth and development we witness in the children we care for keep us motivated. We hope our current placement will continue to think of us as family long into the future. Our fostering journey has been filled with challenges, triumphs, and invaluable learning, and it’s a journey we are deeply proud of.”
If Judy and Nigel’s story has inspired you, why not take the first step? Whether you're ready to start or just want to learn more, Nexus Fostering is here to support you. Come along to our local office drop in on August 19 from 11am- 12 midday at our East Midlands Office in Chilwell Nottingham.
Call us on 0800 389 0143 or visit http://www.nexusfostering.co.uk to start your fostering journey today.