Brave parents raising awareness of baby loss following two stillbirths

Hayley and Stephen Ormond tragically lost their sons Joshua in 2008, and William in 2018, as both were tragically stillborn at full-term gestation, and the couple are now aiming to not only raise awareness of Baby Loss Awareness Week next month, but also to lessen the stigma around baby loss.

Joshua was diagnosed with undetected VATER syndrome, also known as VACTERL association, when birth defects occur when parts of the body don’t form properly in the womb, and William was also found to have undetected disabilities which meant he was unable to survive.

William’s loss was made even more poignant as Hayley had undergone surgery to undo her sterilisation earlier that year and was told her chances of conceiving were slim – but within three months, she discovered she was pregnant with William.

Hayley said: “We always remember their birthdays and these days are really important.

"But when we lost William, no-one wanted to see us and some people even crossed the street to avoid talking to me because they felt so awkward. We’ve even had people say to me things like “at least you’ve got other children” and “it just wasn’t meant to be”.

"It made us realise that it’s so important to talk about these things.”

​Hayley continued: "People are too worried to talk about this because they’re worried about upsetting you but we want people to talk about our little boys because they are part of our family too.”

In 2021, Hayley first held her special event to mark Baby Loss Awareness Week, which runs from October 9 to 15, where people are encouraged to tie a ribbon to the fence around Westgate Fields Park in Louth to remember their babies, and now the same is set to be held this year too.

People can bring their own ribbons, or there will be a small tub with ribbons provided, and Hayley said the previous event saw many ribbons tied to the fence.

"I had people ring me who weren’t living in the area or couldn’t get to the field due to mobility issues and they asked me to go and tie a ribbon for them,” Hayley said.

Hayley and Stephen have seven children between them – Nicole, 18; Harry, 17; Danielle, 16, Jessica, 14 (their Rainbow baby who was born after Joshua’s stillbirth), Zack, 13; three-year-old Isla, and Lucy, two.

The whole family regularly go to visit William and Joshua’s graves in Louth Cemetery, located off London Road.

"We talk about the boys with our other children all the time as it’s important they know who their brothers were,” Hayley said, “We have taken Isla and Lucy up to the cemetery since they were born, and they know all about their brothers in the sky and they always include them in their pictures of their family.

"It’s important for them to know that people don’t just die when they get old, they also can die when they’re young too.”

Hayley wants to remove the stigma over baby loss so that it becomes easier talk about.

She is also aiming to highlight the fact that dads who have lost a baby also need support, and that sadly still there is a stigma over men’s mental health which needs to be addressed as their suffering also gets overlooked.

"It’s hard for the dads too,” Hayley added, "A lot of people would just ask Steve how I was doing after we lost the babies.

“Most people just go straight to the mum after they’ve lost a baby and ask if they are ok, but the dads are also going through it as it’s their baby too, and they need to be acknowledged too.”