50 of the funniest Christmas jokes for 2020

Christmas is one of the jolliest times of the year, and though it may look a little different this year, we can still have our fair share of fun!

Whether you're looking to stuff a homemade cracker with a unique (but suitably terrible) joke, or just entertain the children, what better time is there to roll out some amusing gags?

Here are 50 of the most cringe inducing holiday jokes, all suitable for kids!

What do snowmen eat for lunch? Icebergers!

What do monkeys sing at Christmas? Jungle bells!

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite!

Who’s Rudolph’s favourite pop star? Beyon-sleigh!

What do you call buying a piano for the holidays? Christmas Chopin!

Who delivers presents to cats? Santa Paws!

What goes Ho Ho Whoosh, Ho Ho Whoosh? Santa going through a revolving door!

(Photo: Shutterstock)

Why don't you ever see Santa in hospital? Because he has private elf care!

What’s a child’s favourite king at Christmas? A stoc-king!

Why did the turkey cross the road? Because it was the chicken’s day off!

What do you get if you cross Santa with a detective? Santa Clues!

What did the beaver say to the Christmas Tree? Nice gnawing you!

How does Darth Vader enjoy his Christmas Turkey? On the dark side!

Why did no one bid for Rudolph and Blitzen on eBay? Because they were two deer!

What does the Queen call her Christmas Broadcast? The One Show!

What does Miley Cyrus have at Christmas? Twerky!

What do angry mice send to each other at Christmas? Cross-mouse cards!

Who hides in the bakery at Christmas? A mince spy!

What does Santa do with out of shape elves? Sends them to an elf farm.

How did Scrooge win the football game? The ghost of Christmas passed!

What is Santa’s favourite place to deliver presents? Idaho-ho-ho!

Why couldn’t the skeleton go to the Christmas Party? Because he had nobody to go with!

What do you call a bunch of chess players bragging about their games in a hotel lobby? Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer!

When is a boat just like snow? When it’s adrift!

(Photo: Shutterstock)

What did the stamp say to the Christmas card? Stick with me and we'll go places!

Who do Santa’s helpers call when they’re ill? The National Elf Service!

Why is it getting harder to buy Advent calendars? Their days are numbered!

Who is Santa’s favourite singer? Elf-is Presley!

How did Mary and Joseph know Jesus' weight when he was born? They had a weigh in a manger!

Why did Santa's helper see the doctor? Because he had a low elf esteem!

What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck? A Christmas Quacker!

Why was the snowman looking through the carrots? He was picking his nose!

What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney? Claus-trophobia!

Why was the turkey in the pop group? Because he was the only one with drumsticks!

What do angry mice send to each other at Christmas? Cross-mouse cards!

What did Adam say the day before Christmas? “It’s Christmas, Eve!”

What is the best Christmas present in the world? A broken drum, you just can’t beat it!

What do snowmen have for breakfast? Snowflakes!

What do snowmen wear on their heads? Ice caps!

What happened to the man who stole an Advent Calendar? He got 25 days!

What did the stamp say to the Christmas card? Stick with me and we’ll go places!

What do you call a bunch of chess players bragging about their games in a hotel lobby? Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer!

A version of this article originally appeared on our sister title, the Scotsman