But for parents desperate for some comfort, a wonderful new bespoke remembrance service called Cherub Babies has been launched by business partners Sarah Farmer and Shelley Mayes.
The ladies, co-owners of Flange and Prong in Horncastle, both trained to be celebrants last year after spotting there was a gap in the market for such a memorial service.
The bereaved family are given a memory box by Cherub Babies, in which the family can place letters written by anyone who wants to, along with an angel figurine and anything else the family wants to remember their baby.
They will then gather at a special place to hold a memorial service, conducted by Sarah and Shelley, where they will give the baby a name and send them up to the moon, stars, rainbow or clouds and scatter biodegradable rose petals to signify the scattering of ashes.
“It’s important to give the baby an identity,” Shelley explained, “It’s also important for the family to be able to say goodbye and to give the family some closure because when you’ve lost a baby before 24 weeks, you’re just sent home from hospital with little aftercare, but you’ve lost part of your future and it’s awful.”
The majority of the team at Flange and Prong are mothers themselves so understand the awful feeling of loss when a baby is lost: “Once you’ve lost your baby, you learn to live with it but you never get over it, and you just keep thinking ‘what if?’” Shelley said. “You also think about other members of the family who’ve lost a grandchild or niece or nephew.”
Families are also invited to make a donation to a neonatal unit of their choice, which Cherub Babies will donate on their behalf.
Both Sarah and Shelley work under the Fellowship of Professional Celebrants and are registered with the Spiritual Workers Association.
l If you require the services of Cherub Babies, visit Flange and Prong on West Street, or call 07522 225106.