EDAN Lincs highlighting 'love bombing' among abusive behaviours

According to national statistics, one in four women and one in six men experience domestic abuse during their lifetime.

Abuse comes in all forms, and physical violence is only one aspect of domestic abuse.

It can include a wide range of abusive and controlling behaviour, including threats, harassment, stalking, financial/economic control and emotional abuse.

Domestic abuse charity EDAN Lincs is raising awareness of ‘love bombing’, where an abusive partner is excessive and obsessive, using emotional abuse and coercive control over their partner.

The abuser can be intense, seeking early and premature commitment, and use constant affection and gifts, bombarding their partner with messages and lots of compliments – but little real conversation or listening.

The charity has released these ‘red flags’ that people should be aware of in their partner’s behaviour:

Does your partner...

 Embarrass or make fun of you in front of your friends or family?

 Put you down and belittle your accomplishments?

 Made you feel like they you unable to make decisions?

 Use intimidation or threats to gain your compliance?

 Told you that you are nothing without them?

 Treated you roughly — grabbed, pushed, pinched, shoved or assaulted them?

 Called you several times a night or showed up to make sure you are where you said they would be?

 Used drugs or alcohol as an excuse for saying hurtful things or abusing you?

 Blame you for how they feel or act?

 Pressured you sexually for things you are or were not ready for?

 Made you feel like there is “no way out” of the relationship?

 Prevented you from doing things you want – like spending time with friends or family?

 Tried to keep you from leaving after a fight or left you somewhere after a fight to “teach you a lesson”?

Do you...

 Sometimes feel scared of how your partner may behave?

 Are you constantly making excuses to other people for your partner’s behaviour?

 Believe that you can help your partner change if only you changed something yourself?

 Try not to do anything that would cause conflict or make your partner angry?

 Always do what your partner wants instead of what you want?

 Stay with your partner because you are afraid of what your partner would do if they broke up?

If you have concerns about your relationship or feeling uncomfortable/worried, remember that you deserve to feel safe and comfortable in your relationship – you are not alone, and there is help and support available.

If you are in immediate danger, call police on 999 – if it is unsafe for you to speak, you can press 55 when prompted and your call will be transferred to the police.

For advice and support in Lincolnshire, call EDAN Lincs on 01522 510041 or visit edanlincs.org.uk

You can also call the 24hr National Domestic Violence Helpline on 0808 2000 247 or the Respect Men’s advice line on 0808 8010327.

The helpline for perpetrators can also be reached on 0808 8024040