'Every day is a treasured day, but sadly we know we are on borrowed time'

Charlotte Graves, 44, found a lump on her left breast in 2019 when she was 40 years old and 26 weeks pregnant with her son Charlie.

"It wasn’t just a lump, I also felt constantly exhausted and drained, which at the time I put down to my pregnancy, but I said to my husband Paul, this just doesn’t feel right,” she said.

In December of that year, Charlotte was diagnosed with aggressive breast cancer and just under a month later in Febuary 2019, she had a full mastectomy and Charlie was born via a planned c-section six weeks early so she could undergo treatment right away.

"They wanted to get him out at the right time so he was old enough to survive, but so they could start treatment without delay,” Charlotte said.

But Charlie, who was born weighing 4lbs 14oz, was rushed to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit when he was just hours old, as he stopped breathing and his temperature and blood pressure wouldn’t come down and Charlotte and Paul were told to prepare for the worst.

Thankfully, he soon recovered and came home nine days later.

Charlotte started her gruelling 16 months of treatment two days later, and underwent six rounds of chemotherapy every three weeks, along with 18 rounds of herceptin at home, and then 15 rounds of radiotherapy.

She finished her treatment in August 2020 and was given the all clear, but then sadly four months later, her symptoms she first felt before her diagnosis – fatigue and exhaustion – returned and in December 2022, it was discovered that the cancer had returned and she was diagnosed with Stage IV recurrent breast cancer with liver metastases.

Charlotte was told that this time she would never be cured, but could be treated as long as she kept responding to treatment, but in December 2021, it was discovered that the treatment had stopped working and the tumours were the biggest they’d ever been.

For Paul, he said seeing his wife going through this battle has been incredibly hard: “For a start, you try not to let it consume you, and you have to try to function, but Charlotte has made it so much easier as she’s so matter of fact about it all.

"But what upsets me the most is we’ve got a four year old, and she’s thinking of him the most. What’s hard is to be happy around Charlie, as I don’t want him to see me miserable all the time.”

Charlotte, who also has an 18-year-old stepdaughter Shannon, was then started on a new chemotherapy in January 2022, but the aggressive treatment kept causing infections such as sepsis, and heartbreakingly her oncologist told her that she just had months left to live.

“I had asked the “how long left” question but I was devastated, the thought of leaving my family behind is heartbreaking,” she said, “But I pulled up my positive pants and determined not to let it get the better of me – I began my fight once more.”

Charlotte planned her and my husband Paul’s wedding in just six weeks and they were married on April 30 at St John the Baptist church in Great Carlton, with a reception in a marquee in fields belonging to Paul’s parents, and Charlotte said she is incredibly grateful to all their friends and family who pitched in to help their special day.

As for the future, 15 months on from her heart-breaking diagnosis, Charlotte is undergoing “maintenance chemotherapy” to stabilize her cancer, and has also started putting together a number of memory books on her and her family’s life for Charlie to look back fondly on in years to come.

"I continue my life as normal as I can but taking all the necessary precautions to be able to spend as much time as I can with Paul, Charlie and Shannon,” Charlotte said. “Life has its ups and downs generally, due to if I’m well or not as I’m extremely prone to infection due to having a suppressed immune system, but we try to live most days with laughter, smiles and definitely love because every day is a treasured day but sadly we know we are on borrowed time.

"I believe being and keeping positive is what helps me be here with my family today.”

Now Charlotte is sharing her story as she not only wants to raise awareness of the importance of checking your breasts for signs of cancer, but how you should live your life to the max as you never know when your life might be turned upside down.

Paul said: “We’ve had a year now since the diagnosis and we’re really appreciating what time we have left together, but it’s very bittersweet because each Christmas and birthday, you can’t help but think it could be our last one all together."

The family have made plans to take part in many more family bike rides, and are planning to take a trip by train to Austria, via Paris and Switzerland, later this year to make more memories together.

Charlotte has also extended her thanks to Charlie’s nursery, Red Hen in Legbourne, for their support as well as their family.

Advice from the NHS states that you should see a GP if you notice any of the following:

• a new lump or area of thickened tissue in either breast that was not there before
• a change in the size or shape of one or both breasts
• a discharge of fluid from either of your nipples
• a lump or swelling in either of your armpits
• a change in the look or feel of your skin, such as puckering or dimpling, a rash or redness
• a rash (like eczema), crusting, scaly or itchy skin or redness on or around your nipple
• a change in the appearance of your nipple, such as becoming sunken into your breast

More information and advice on breast cancer is available at Macmillan Cancer Support’s website here.